Conor Byrne Exit interview leak !
August 12, 2007
The Gilmore News has come into possession of a leaked memo.. purporting to be the minutes of Conor Byrne's exit interview upon leaving the The Suffering Gaels. Those old fogie- folkies among you might remember them as a little-known and not much liked musical group with vaudevillian tendencies who played in some of the lower class dives in this town back in what we thought were the good old days ....now with the benefit of hindsight how wrong we were. Byrne was never seen again but then again nobody really went looking for him. Foul play was suspected at the time, but since that term was also applied to their "musical"stylings the disappearance of Conor Bynre has gone un-investigated.
An internal band memo from the Suffering Gaels exit interview with Conor Byrne, tells the whole sordid story. A jack-booted Human Resources Director for The Gaels refused to comment on the memo saying only that "….any member of the band's entourage caught leaking or even taking a leak would be severely punished" The Gael's HR division is famous for it's closed door meetings and devious underhand methods. In the cutthroat world of Irish traditional music they set the bar for low and dastardly behavior. Invited musical guests had to sign wavers stating that they wouldn't play better than the band.
HR:
So, Conor, is it okay if I call you that.
CB:
Whatever Dude.
HR:
We'd love to know your feelings as you leave this great organization to which we owe allegiance.
CB:
They're a bunch of wankers.
HR.
Sorry Conor but that is language inappropriate for an exit interview. We only want to hear the nice things you have to say about the band so we can leak it to the Gilmore News. Any negative stuff will be heard behind closed doors..... which will also mute the sounds you will make during your exit beating.
CB
Right so. They're not a bunch of wankers…they're a bunch of feckin' wankers who I pulled outta the gutter and through sheer grit and determination I honed into the …"
………….…tape muffled here as exit beating starts earlier than scheduled.
There you have it....a young musician cut down in his prime and The Gilmore News vows to search out injustice like this....especially if it has a good photo and a catchy headline....and will continue to .....contd. Pge 103